Inazuma Russian Roulette Story-telling
by ShuuyaLover
Summary: To increase the number of Inazuma Eleven fans, this fanfiction is born! Inazuma Russian Roulette Story-telling features a character as the main character for each story! Sit back and watch them embarrass themselves to humour the readers! Chapter 4: Goenji the Most Idiot Guy in Japan (even more than Endou)
1. Prince Endou and His Soccer Ball

**Inazuma Russian Roulette Story-telling**

Kidou: For the first chapter, we'll be using Endou as the main character of the story-telling. *patting Endou's shoulder*

Endou: Eh?! ME?!

Kazemaru: Since you're our captain, we decided to let you have the honour.

Hiroto: I envy you, Endou. *sighing in relieve inside his heart*

Endou: B-But I ne-never agree on this! Goenji! Help me!

Goenji: Yuuka, the story-telling's about to start. Pay attention, okay?

Yuuka: Haiiiiii!

~~~ Chapter 1: Prince Endou and His Soccer Ball ~~~

Tobitaka: One day, on a far away land called-

Hiroto: -Soccer Kingdom, there was a young prince named Endou Mamoru.

Kidou: Since birth, His Highness has been loved and pampered by the King, Queen and people of the castle. Unfortunately-

Fudou: -this turned the prince into a spoiled brat! He skipped his etiquette and royal lessons to play soccer with the other brats of the townspeople when he should be in his chamber, studying his ass off!

Endou: I'm not a brat! And I do study at home!

Goenji: Do I have to remind you what happened in Episode 5? *raising his eyebrow*

Endou: A-a-a-ano, G-Goenji! How did you-

Kidou: Enough! The story-telling has yet to finish!

Tsunami: But why did it have to be soccer? Can't the prince think of another hobby? Like surfing? Yeah, surfing's good! Just look at me now! This is all thanks to riding those impressive waves everyday! *taking off his shirt*

Touko: If you mean getting a tan enough to be mistaken for a blackened and charred wok butt but with everything covered by your swimming trunks white, then yes. It's worth it. *rolling her eyes*

Tsunami: Is that supposed to be a sarcasm? Cause it sounds like one. *put up kicked-puppy face*

Kogure: You look like a lizard's poop! Black and white! Ushishishi!

Kidou: Stop interrupting! The story will never end if this keeps up! Next!

Toramaru: Hai, Kidou-san! So the Queen thought of an idea to separate the prince from his soccer ball!

Kabeyama: S-so, o-one ni-night, the Queen sneaked into her son's chamber and took the soccer ball from the prince's hold and switched it with his round pillow. The next day-

Kurimatsu: -the prince woke up and when he realized that his ball was missing, he started bawling and crying his eyes out, de yansu! The king tried to persuade the Queen to return the ball, de yansu-

Kazemaru: -but the Queen will not give in! To solve the problem, the Queen decided to get help and a week later, a man arrived in front of the castle!

Goenji: The Queen had called for her father's help, hoping that he can help her with how to discipline her son and stop all the soccer nonsense coming out of her son's mouth!

Endou: No! No, don't do that! I love soccer! Sokka yarouze! *sobbing onto Kidou's cape*

Kidou: Let go of my cape, Endou! *tried yanking it out but instead, played a tug-of-war with Endou*

Midorikawa: But instead of helping his daughter, the former King took the ball back and return it to his grandson. They played soccer happily for the rest of their lives! The End!

Sakuma: That's a lame ending, Midorikawa!

Kudou: I agree with Sakuma! Midorikawa, run twenty laps around the field as punishment for your horrible ending!

Midorikawa: No!

Endou: Yeah, I got my ball back! Sokka yarouze!

Goenji: Whatever goes your way, Endou...*sigh*

~~~ Chapter 1: Prince Endou and His Soccer Ball...End! ~~~

C...can I have reviews, please?


	2. Kazemaru and His New Hairstyle

**Inazuma Russian Roulette Story-telling**

Kidou: Congrats for being picked out to be the next victim, I mean, character of the Inazuma Russian Roulette Story-telling!

Kazemaru: Why me? What have I done to deserve this?!

Someoka: What have you done to deserve this?! You left Inazuma Caravan and joined forces with Aliea Gakuen's ultimate team, Dark Emperors!

Kogure: At least, do this to redeem yourself! Ushishishi!

Kazemaru: But I'm not completely guilty! I've been brainwashed!

Endou: Chotto matte! Someoka, weren't you a member of Dark Emperors too?

Kidou: Then we shall punish him by letting him be the main character for the third chapter!

Kazemaru: Hahaha! Take that, baldy!

Someoka: ...I'm innocent! Kazemaru blackmailed me into it! He got pictures of me watching Barbie movies! Endou!

~~~ Chapter 2: Kazemaru and His New Hairstyle ~~~

Kazemaru: But my hairstyle is perfect! I like the my hair the way it is!

Tsunami: Can't you do something to your hair? You looked like a girl!

Kazemaru: It runs in the family, Tsunami. *gritting his teeth*

Fudou: Then I pity your future sons! *laughing sadistically*

Sakuma: Says the one with the Mohawk hair! He looked like a girl, but _you_ looked like Rihanna! And that's like a thousand times more worse!

Goenji: _She can't sing..._

Kazemaru: _She can't dance..._

Hijikata: _But who cares..._

Goenji, Kazemaru, Hijikata: _She walks like Rihanna!_

Fudou: I'm not Rihanna, damnit!

Kidou: All of you shut up before I set out the Emperor Penguins on you guys!

Others, except Endou: *gasp in fright*

Endou: Is that supposed to be horrible?

Kidou: Yes, Endou.

Endou: And why is that?

Kidou: Because my Emperor Penguins are not tame and have the tendency to bite!

Endou: Like you?

Others: *Holding in their laughter*

Yuuka: Can we start the story-telling now? I need to get sleepy quick and go to bed early. Fuku-san, can I have a glass of warm milk, please?

~~~ Chapter 2: Kazemaru and His New Hairstyle, Take 2! ~~~

Sakuma: On some time that I didn't bother to mention, Kazemaru Ichirouta complained about his hair in front of his wardrobe's mirror. He complained about the hair because-

Fubuki: -the hair hinders his vision. He had an accident because his long hair kept him from seeing where he should make his land, and as a skateboarder, landing is a crucial aspect in order to gain perfect scores! *nodding like a wise sage*

Kazemaru: Skateboarding? *eyes widened as he gawked at Fubuki* I've never even _step_ on a skateboard in my entire life!

Hijikata: As he went on and on about how he doesn't like his hair colour-

Kazemaru: No, that's not true!

Hijikata: -how he feels so much like a girl with a girly hair like his girly hair-

Kazemaru: I do not have girly hair! My hair is manly enough, thank you very much!

All:...*silence before bursting into laughter*

Kabeyama: Ka-Kazemaru-san sure knows how to make a good joke! *said between his laughs*

Kurimatsu: That's right, de yansu! *crouching on the floor while holding his stomach*

Kogure: If you wanna have a manly hair, take Soemoka or Hijikata's as example! That's manly hair! Ushishishi!

Fudou: Even Fubuki's cute hair is manlier than yours, Kazemaru! *not noticing the dark aura behind him*

Fubuki: Fudou. *tapping the other's shoulder* What did you mean by saying that even my cute hair is manlier than Kazemaru's hair? *smiling dangerously*

Fudou: *sweating profusely* A-a-t-tha-that's-I-er-aaa-HELP! *dragged by Fubuki by the legs into a dark room*

All: *sweat dropped at the scene and turned pale when hearing the sound of drilling machine and Fudou's terrified yell*

Kidou: With Fudou occupied and unable to assume his turn, the next one will fill in! Next!

Tobitaka: Up above, the angels in charge of hearing the pleas of mortal humans closed their ears and frowned down at the ungrateful boy's whining and moaning. To teach him a lesson,-

Endou: -they send one of the recruit angels named Atsuya! But Atsuya is an angel with a twisted mind, so he plans to punish Kazemaru badly!

Someoka: Atsuya? You mean Fubuki's twin? But if he's an angel, isn't he supposed to be in jail for ill manner? Wait the fuck, why is he even an angel in the first place?! Isn't he supposed to be in hell and hailed as the most badass demon of all?!

Kidou: Someoka! The story! Now!

Someoka: A-alright! Well, let's see...Atsuya descended from heaven that he didn't belong to and he poof with a small white smoke beside Kazemaru. He asked Kazemaru why he didn't like his hair and Kazemaru-

Tsunami: -started his long and never ending speeches on the origin of his hairstyle, the colour, the length, the huge money he spent on getting those hair rebounding sessions, the branded and expensive shampoos, hair gels, hair sprays, etc. Having enough of his ranting, angel/devil/hybrid Atsuya offered to give Kazemaru the best hairstyle a teenage boy can ever ask for!

Toramaru: Atsuya agreed to help Kazemaru-san on one condition and that is he needs to go to bed early that night and have a good sleep. So as soon as Kazemaru-san went to bed, Atsuya worked on his magic using his magic wand. The next day-

Tachimukai: -Kazemaru-san woke up and was terribly excited to see what kind of hairstyle he has been bestowed upon by Atsuya! So he went to the mirror and saw-

Goenji: -not a single strand of hair left on his head! Apparently angel/devil/hybrid Atsuya did give him a hairstyle; a skinhead! Since then, Kazemaru repented and is never ungrateful again! But the poor fellow never stepped out of the house until his hair grows back again!

Yuuka: The End! * cheered and clapping her hands enthusiastically*

Kazemaru: Goenji! I'm going to kill you! *chasing Goenji around with a rifle* Stay there and let me shoot you!

Goenji: *running from Kazemaru while laughing all along*

Toramaru: Goenji-san! I'll call the police to help you!

Kidou: How's the ending, Kudou-kantoku?

Kudou: *nodded his head* Good but can still be worked on!

Endou: Sokka yarouze!

~~~ Chapter 2: Kazemaru and His New Hairstyle!...end! ~~~

Uwah! That's hard work! Please review! I'm lonely!


	3. Someoka, Sad Life of a Dango

**Inazuma Russian Roulette Story-telling**

Kidou: As promised from the previous chapter, Someoka here will be our next victim!

Sakuma: Be prepared to die a slow and painful death, Someoka Ryuugo!

Someoka: T-this is not f-funny, guys! Anyone, help me please!

Fubuki, singing while swaying from left to right: _Dango, Dango, Dango, Dango, Dango, Dai kazoku..._

Yuuka: Wah, it's the dango song! Teach me! Teach me!

Goenji: I'm pleased to see that you have taken into learning music, Yuuka. *nodding approvingly*

Endou: But it's much better if she wants to learn soccer! Soccer is the best!

Someoka: You guys aren't helping at all! *T-T*

Kurimatsu: We'll have fun torturing you, de yansu!

~~~ Chapter 3: Someoka, Sad Life of a Dango ~~~

Someoka: What the fuck, dango?! Since when did I turn into a dango?! Kidou! How in the hell did you pick up a lame title for me?!

Kidou: Aaa...I had a hard time finding the suitable title for a hot-headed person like you so I went out for a walk. I thought of it when I stopped by a stall that sells dango. One of them looked a lot like you.

Someoka: What part of me that looks like a dango to you?!

All: Everything!

Someoka: N-nani?!

Toramaru: Is that why Fubuki-san sang the dango song? But how did he find out the title of the third chapter before us?

Tsunami: Who cares about that?! As the spontaneous story-teller experts, this is not a big deal for us!

Kabeyama: It says 'Sad Life of a Dango'. So is this supposed to be a sad story?

Kidou: Sad stories can be turned into comedy. Especially with a hot-tempered character like Someoka!

Someoka: Hey, that's not true!

Sakuma: Yeah, we can tease and make fun of him as much as we want!

Fudou: Now this is the sadistic pleasure I've been yearning for! Finally!

Kurimatsu: Scary Teikoku trio, de yansu...

Someoka: Can't any one of you back me up on this?! My pride and image are on the line here!

Goenji: Sorry Someoka. But this time, you're on your own.

Endou: True, true. Kidou threatened to hide my gloves if I offer any help to you, Someoka.

Someoka: Your gloves are more important than me?! I thought you're my friend!

Endou: *frowning* It's not just any gloves. It's the same one my grandpa used when he played in the European league.

All: Oooooo...

Someoka: I lost to a pair of old gloves? *sniffle*

Fubuki: On with the story! ^-^

~~~ Chapter 3: Someoka, Sad Life of a Dango ~~~

Midorikawa: In Inazuma Town, there's a shop named Rairaiken owned by a famous local chef named Hibiki. Aside from selling hot pots,-

Endou: -he also sells delicious dangos that quickly become the town's specialty. Many people come to buy his dangos. But-

Toramaru: -there is one stick of dango that no one wanted to buy since the day it was made. The dango's name is Someoka Dango!

Sound: *dun dun*

Kurimatsu: Since it was available for sale, Someoka Dango did not caught the interest of the customers at all, for it was-

Sakuma: -odd pink in colour, too hard like a stone and horribly unappetizing. Even little children cried in fright at the sight of Someoka Dango!

Sound: *cries of small kids*

Someoka: I never frightened any kids in my whole life!

Goenji: The first time you met Yuuka, you tried to make funny faces at her that turns out like a deranged zombie looking for small kids to fill your huge stomach with.

Someoka: I did not! It was unintentional!

Goenji: *narrowing his eyes* My little sister hid behind me and begged me to take her home.

Endou: So that's why you and Yuuka-chan went home early from the party, huh?

Goenji: There were pictures of Raimon Eleven and Inazuma Japan teams on my desk and she scribbled on Someoka's face with permanent black whiteboard marker. And she asked me how I sleep every night with pictures with you in it in my bedroom.

Kogure: Scary Someoka Dango! Scary Someoka Dango! Ushishishi!

Someoka: Shut up, you little twerp! *started chasing Kogure around*

Kidou: Make sure you come back here for your turn, Kogure!

Kabeyama: But one day, a boy named Yamino Kageto came and bought Someoka Dango! Although the boy have no intention to eat the dango, instead he wanted to learn exorcising demons using the dango since he claimed to have seen the lingering demonic presence within the dango, Someoka Dango was extremely happy!

Someoka: *yelling at the background while chasing Kogure* I'm not happy at all!

Sakuma: But Someoka Dango's happiness was short-lived, for on the way to Yamino's house, he-

Kidou: -fell from the plastic bag Yamino had been wildly swinging around. Poor Someoka Dango splatted onto the middle of the road.

Someoka: 0.0

Background noise: Ooooooo...

Fudou: While Someoka Dango was wallowing in self-pity, he had been splatted flat and he found himself rolling up and down. Turns out that he had stuck on the wheels of a motor-bicycle of a lame gangster named Karasu. Although Someoka Dango appreciated that he had been picked up from the road, but he was getting dizzy from being rolled over and over again that he wanted to throw up. Not only that,-

Tsunami: -he was also suffering from the horrible singing of Karasu! Someoka Dango learnt that Karasu and any songs meant for girls are not a good combination at all! But then Karasu hit a bump on the road and Someoka Dango departed from the front wheel of the strange contraption. Someoka Dango was about to thank his lucky starts when he-

Goenji: -fell on top of a little girl's head. The little girl named Yuuka felt something hard hitting her head and she burst into tears, for Someoka Dango is as hard as a rock. Her kind older brother saw the offending cause of his precious little sister's hurting head and cries on the ground. The older brother, extremely annoyed, then picked Someoka Dango up with a tissue and threw it into a nearby garbage can. The older brother dissuaded Yuuka's cries by promising lots of ice-cream and candies and they both left for the nearest sweets store.

Someoka: G-Goenji, you're so evil! You're supposed to be my friend! *eyes brimming with tears as he glared at the ace striker*

Goenji: （￣ー￣）

Hiroto: Unfortunately for Someoka Dango, the garbage can was then kicked out of anger by a boy named Fudou Akio. Fudou was so frustrated because his thirteenth girlfriend had broken up with him at the third day of their relationship and had been kicking every garbage can in his sight to express his anger.

Fudou: That's so not true! It's bullshit! Haruna and I didn't break up and we're still together!

All: *silence with the gust of wind passing by* *everyone is now staring at Fudou with bewildered expression*

Kogure: *grabbing a microphone* To the Joker of Inazuma Japan, I suggest you start running for your life before Kidou catches you and roasts you for dinner! Ushishishi!

Fudou: Damn you, Hiroto! *running away from Kidou who's chasing him with a chainsaw*

Sakuma: Heh, so Haruna is his thirteenth girlfriend after all. I better call Genda and tell him he missed his chance. *taking out cell phone and searching for Genda's contact*

Tachimukai: *playing with his fingers nervously* A-ano, then...Someoka Dango fell into a dirty drain that was filled with baby diapers, food packaging, ice cream sticks, old toys and other dirty stuff. Someoka Dango cried in sadness, wondering what have he done to deserve such a horrible fate. Life as an unwanted dango is hard enough, and all day long, he had been splatted, rolling, and stomped on. He wished upon the bright stars of the night sky and prayed that his fate will change for the better soon.

Kogure:...you sounded like a love-sick teenage boy. Ushishishi!

Kidou: Kogure, zip it! Next!

Kazemaru: About a week later, a few plumbers came to fix the drain's blockage and successfully let the garbage accumulated flow away to somewhere. They were supposed to trap the garbage and dispose of it, but the plumbers were too lazy to do so and has no awareness on help keeping the area clean and lack sense of commitment to their work. So, Someoka Dango and his garbage buddies swam through the black drain liquid and into the sea.

Kogure: Even in the sea, Someoka Dango remains as hard as rock although he has the ability to float due to the small holes in his body! Ushishishi! And there, he went into the mouth of a surfer named Tsunami Jousuke when the poor surfer slipped on his diving board and splashed into the sea! Ushishishi!

Tsunami: W-what?! I-I ate Someoka Dango?!

Tobitaka: As the consequences of Tsunami's unfortunate incident, he had diarrhea for a week straight and was only feeling better after he excreted Someoka Dango. The End.

Kogure: But it's only the beginning of Someoka, Smelly Life of Tsunami's Poop! Ushishishi!

Someoka: That's it! I'm totally unwanted and unappreciated here! I'm changing school and I'm moving from Inazuma Town! Sayonara! Hope to never see any of you again! *bursting into tears and slammed the door*

All: O.O

Fubuki:..._turn my back and slam the door... _(lyric from Let it Go by Demi Lovato from Frozen movie)

Someoka: *shouting from outside* I heard you, Fubuki!

Fubuki: ʘ‿ʘ *smiling innocently*

Endou: What should we do with Someoka, kantoku?

Kudou: Let him cool off his head first! But, good job, everyone! d-(^.^)z Kidou, start picking up the next character!

Kidou: Aye, chief!

~~~ Chapter 3: Someoka, Sad Life of a Dango...end! ~~~

Yipee! Third chapter already! Please R&R!


	4. Goenji the Most Idiot Guy in Japan

**Inazuma Russian Roulette Story-telling**

Kidou: Ladies and gentlemen, we, Inazuma Japan would like to say welcome back to our runaway dragon striker slash unwanted dango, Someoka Ryuugo!

Audience: *clapping enthusiastically with loud cheering*

Haruna: Onii-chan! *glaring at him with hands on her hips*

Kidou: *sigh* Alright, alright! I'll rephrase. Ladies and gentlemen, we, Inazuma Japan would like to say welcome back to our dragon striker, Someoka Ryuugo!

Audience: *volume of clapping and cheering lowered a bit*

Someoka: *Standing behind Kidou with crossed arms* Ehem ehem! *raising his eyebrow at him*

Kidou: *let out a deeper sigh* Okay, okay. I'll correct my mistake. Ladies and gentlemen, we, Inazuma Japan would like to say welcome back to our dragon and ace striker, Someoka Ryuugo!

Audience: *none of them are clapping. They merely stared at the Inazuma Japan cast with jaws dropped* NANI?!

A woman: What do you mean by ace striker? Isn't Goenji the ace striker?

Random man: That's right! And don't say that we've misunderstand all along!

A little boy: Is this some kind of a joke?

Endou: Calm down, calm down, everyone. Actually, Goenji is still the ace striker of Inazuma Japan. But today will be an exception.

A teenage girl: Why is that? You're confusing us all!

Endou: *scratching the back of his head* W-well, remember in the previous chapter, Someoka said he'll move from Inazuma Town and hoped to never see any of us again?

Audience: *nodding in unison*

Endou: Well, he was telling the truth. He did moved, to Hawaii.

Audience: NANI?!

Haruna: Onii-chan and his friends had to go all the way to Hawaii and persuade him to come back to Japan and return to the show.

Kurimatsu: I'm still feeling jetlag, de yansu...*knees wobbling and spirals in his eyes*

Fudou: And we had to cover Fubuki and Toramaru's eyes when Someoka started Hula dancing...in nothing but a green grass skirt!

Audience: *gasped loudly at the horrible image, some men fainted in shock on the spot*

Someoka: Hey, I was told I looked charming by the ladies there! *yelling at the audience*

Fudou: What ladies?! They're all men with coconuts breasts! You were at the gay bar! *looking at Someoka incredulously*

Tsunami: Not that we have anything against gay and lesbian people. But that bar... *looking right and left with widened eyes* ...is out of this world! It's alien, I tell you all! Aliea Gakuen V2!

Fubuki: *titled his head and a large question mark popped above his head* When was that? I never saw Someoka dancing like that.

Haruna: *chuckling nervously*

Tobitaka: Apparently, Someoka believed it was his holy calling to become a dancer at a bar there and started learning the local dances. How the hell he gets this holy calling of his is out of everyone's guess.

Kogure: More like holy crap! Ushishishi!

Haruna: *hands on her hips as she glared down at Kogure* Kogure-kun! This is all your fault! If it's not for your rude and insensitive joke, none of this would have happened! Apologize to him, now!

Kogure: *Pouting as his eyes remained at the floor* I...I'm sorry...NOT! Ushishishi!

Haruna: Kogure-kun! *chasing after Kogure, who ran in frantic*

Kogure: Uwah!

Endou: *sweat dripping from him* At first, Someoka sulked-

Someoka: I did not sulk!

Endou: -well, refused to come back with us. We tried to bait him with many things, but none works on him. So, we asked what should we do in order to have him come back with us.

Kidou: And he gave us three conditions. Number one, he is to be the ace striker of Inazuma Japan for a week.

Audience: W-WHAT?!

Random man: This is bullshit! I'm going home!

Fubuki: Please don't go home yet! The show's about to start! *putting up the strongest kicked-puppy-eyes he has, (｡◕‿◕｡) *

Random man: *blushed at Fubuki's adorable 'offense hissatsu'* O-okay, then. I'll stay. *went back to his seat*

Endou: By being the ace striker of the team, he gets to wear Goenji's shirt...well, with his name stitched above the number ten to cover Goenji's name. And he gets the special 'privilege' of being called the trio of Inazuma Japan, replacing Goenji. *face dropped at that*

Kidou: Number two is that he will have the authority to give command to all forwards in the team. Since that is in the ace striker's jurisdiction, it's a total waste to use the second condition for this purpose.

Toramaru: And I hate every second of that! *growling angrily while he and Hiroto are fanning Someoka with large hand fan*

Someoka: *sitting on a king chair with a ヽ(´ー｀)ノ face* Less talking, more force! Toramaru! Hiroto!

Toramaru and Hiroto: Yes Mr. Ace Striker! *TT_TT*

Someoka: Fubuki, where's my tropical smoothies?! *glaring at him* What's taking you so long?!

Fubuki: Right away, Mr. Ace Striker! *sniffle* Here it is, Mr. Ace Striker. *handing a glass of tropical smoothies with bent straw and a small red umbrella*

Others: *sweat dropped*

Kidou: *clearing his throat* And his third condition is that Goenji will be the character for Chapter 4 and be humiliated...thoroughly.

Audience: NANI?!

Toramaru: Goenji-san, please save us from Someoka-san's evil reign! *crying rivers*

Goenji: Sorry Toramaru, but my hands are tied. *turning around to show his hands tied with a rope* For real.

~~~ Chapter 4: Goenji the Most Idiot Guy in Japan (even more than Endou) ~~~

Endou: I'm not an idiot! I'm just average! *pouted*

Goenji: An idiot? Of all the things you can think of, you pictured me as an idiot? *sent an uninterested side-glance at Someoka*

Someoka: Bwahahahaha! You underestimate my story-teller instinct, Goenji?! You'll be sure to regret it when the story starts!

Goenji: *sighed tiredly* I have no idea why your anger is so fixated on me. Have I hurt your feelings or something?

Someoka: ...you didn't remember...? YOU DIDN'T REMEMBER?! GOENJI SHUUYA, YOU-! FORGET THE EMBARRASING GOENJI WITH THE STORY PLAN! I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT AWAY! *launching to attack Goenji but was held back by Hijikata and Tobitaka* Let me go! Unhand me at once!

Hijikata: That doesn't work on us. We're defenders, so we're under Endou's jurisdiction.

Tobitaka: That's right. You have no authority to order us around.

Someoka: Damn it! Damn it all!

Goenji: Really, Someoka. What have I done for you to hold this much vengeance against me?

Someoka: What have you done?! You don't remember what happened last week?!

Toramaru: *blinking in confusion* Last week? What happened last week between you and Goenji-san?

Endou: Hey Kidou. Did Goenji and Someoka had a fight last week or something?

Kidou: *shrugging off his shoulder* I don't know. I have no data on what might have triggered Someoka's anger switch.

Fubuki: *hitting his right fist on his left palm with an 'O' mouth* I remember! It was Valentine's Day on last Saturday, right?

Tsunami: Oh! I know! *turning to Someoka with a grin* Are you mad that Goenji received more Valentine chocolates than you do?

Someoka: *blushing* O-Of course not!

Sakuma: Why do I have a feeling that it's a lie? *squinting at Someoka with distrust*

Someoka: S-stop looking at me like that!

Hiroto: I received less chocolates than Goenji and I don't mind at all. *frowning at Someoka*

Someoka: How much is the difference of your and Goenji, huh?!

Hiroto: *chuckled nervously with raised hands* Umm, three?

Someoka: Of course you didn't mind at all!

Hiroto: *sweat dropped nervously* W-well, Fubuki received the most chocolates from his admirers! He's ten and thirteen chocolates ahead of Goenji and me!

Fubuki: *nodded his head cheerfully* I did! I even received chocolates from guys!

Others: *silence*

Hiroto: W-what guys? Who are they?

Fubuki: *shrugging his shoulders* Don't know. But I recognized one of the names as the third year from boxing club.

Others: O.O

Goenji: Fubuki! Next time you received chocolates from guys, throw them away. Or, if you're too kind for that, give them to me. I'll dispose of them for you.

Fudou: *grabbing Fubuki's shoulders* And never, ever go and meet any of them without bringing any of us with you! Understand?

Fubuki: *nodded his head timidly*

Goenji: Someoka, if it makes you feel better, I gave every chocolates to Yuuka and her friends after thorough inspection, with the help of our neighbour's generous cats.

Endou: Is that why there's many cat graves on the ground near your apartment building, Goenji?

Goenji: *nodded his head stoically*

Others: * O_O *

Haruna: Oh, Kami-sama! I better go and pay respect and apologies to those cats! *grabbing her sling bag and left the studio*

~~~ Chapter 4: Goenji the Most Idiot Guy in Japan (even more than Endou) ~~~

Kurimatsu: E-eto, how do I start, de yansu?

Someoka: *snapped angrily* Just get on with it, Kurimatsu!

Kurimatsu: * (-_-;) * Pressure, de yansu...O-Once upon a time, t-there was someone at so-somewhere. A-and t-t-that someone-

Kidou: This story's purpose may be to humiliate Goenji, but I wouldn't forgive such lousy narrating! What are you rambling about, Kurimatsu?! Who is this someone?! Where is this somewhere?!

Kurimatsu: *flinched* G-Gomen, Ki-Kidou-san! Ano, ano, I shall try this again, de yansu! On-once u-upon a t-time, there's some guy named Goenji Shuuya. P-people said that he's the most idiot guy in Japan, even a bigger idiot than someone named Endou!

Endou: That would be me... T_T

Others: *paled and sweat dropped at that*

Kazemaru: G-Goenji is a s-student at Raimon High School. He sat in t-the dumbest c-class and always get lo-lowest scores in every...test? *turning to Someoka, who nodded approvingly* He gets zero for every t-test a-and never g-get any a-awards f-for a-anything. N-not in aca-academic n-nor curricular activities.

Fubuki: *blinking in faked confusion, not that anyone could tell the difference* But Goenji's always in top three of his class and he gets outstanding performance award every semester. Have you seen his shooting golden trophy? It's so cool! And I thought he tutored you in Biology and English, Kazemaru?

Kazemaru: *nodded his head while sending apologetic glance at Goenji*

Someoka: Fubuki, shut up with your Goenji-worshipping and praising! Next!

Kidou:...excuse me, but who's the appointed director? You or me?

Someoka: *slightly intimidated* Y-You.

Kidou: Then I'm in charge. Next!

Fudou: He's...um...stupid? And a moron. And...dumb! Yes, dumb! He's very dumb! And...er...he's so dumb that he can't...er...defend himself when bullies forced him to give them his money and bento. And sometimes when the bullies are too scary, he...er...wet his pants? *raising an eyebrow when Someoka sent a thumbs up with flashing eyes in satisfaction at him*

Hijikata: The whole school, even the teachers...laughed at him w-when he wet his pants. And when he went home, the whole town laughed and pointed at him while laughing and jeering at him?

Endou and Kidou: *jaws dropped to the ground before slapping their forehead*

Goenji: * yawning as he stretched his body lightly, ;-O *

Fubuki: G-Goenji, how come you're not affected at all?

Goenji: ...I'm portrayed as a calm and cool character that wouldn't be easily angered and annoyed, so here I am.

Kabeyama: And he had been lifted off his feet and err...shoved inside his own locker. Then, they locked him inside. This is so hard! *gripping the hem of his shirt*

Tobitaka: ...my turn? Oh, err...bullies...hmm...well, they locked him inside the toilet cubicle and err...threw pails of water from the next cubicles. *sighing with difficulty*

Someoka: He was the most unlucky idiot in Japan! Everyday, his books were shredded and cut by scissors! His chair had been super-glued! His bento was put with insects and gums when he's not in class! His pants was pulled down in front of the girls! His water bottle changed with drain water! Small flower pots dropped near him from the upper storey! His head was shaved bald! Bullies wrote obscene words about him all over the school walls! He was shoved aside by students who saw him! His school bag was stolen all the time! Teachers didn't let him go to the toilet! Doctor and nurses at the infirmary wouldn't treat his injuries! And-

Audience: * (ー_ー)! *

Kidou: Stop! Next!

Midorikawa: Th-there was o-one ti-time that G-Goenji sat u-under a t-tree to f-find a nature v-view to draw. H-he brought all his sketching stuff with him. A-and one of the bullies s-saw him and t-told hi-his friends about it. T-they planned to p-play a ho-horrible joke on him.

Sakuma: T-they t-tampered w-with the beehive a-above his head. A-after a few st-stone thr-throwing, t-the beehive f-fell on t-top of G-Goenji's head and the bees c-came out t-to at-attack him! Goenji screamed a-all th-the way and j-jumped into the pond. Everyone at the p-park l-laughed at him so h-hard! G-Goenji, gomen nasai! TT_TT

Toramaru: This is stupid! *fuming angrily at Someoka* That time, Goenji-san was so depressed and disappointed with himself. In the pond, Goenji-san wished to end his life by letting himself drown. But there was a flicker of light from above and someone came diving down to save him. The person pulled Goenji-san up and they lied on near the pond. When Goenji-san woke up, he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his whole life! Goenji-san's heartbeat increased rapidly!

Fubuki: Doki! Doki! ㈏2

Someoka: W-what the- * （ ﾟДﾟ） *

Hiroto: Goenji was rescued by a girl who later became his girlfriend! With the girl's encouragement and love, he vowed to change his life! Since then, he started taking his studies more seriously and entered martial arts club. Now, he's the best student of his school, gains the most popular guy in school title, the strongest martial artist in high school circuit and has the most beautiful girlfriend! He is now envied by all guys, especially his former bullies!

Fubuki: And Goenji becomes a successful young businessman and married his girlfriend! They live in a big mansion and have ten children! The End! (⌒▽⌒)

Someoka: This is not how I planned to happen! * ε=ε=ε=┌(;*´Д`)ﾉ stormed out of the studio*

Kudou: Don't go out of the town, Someoka!

Endou: *sweat dropping as he chuckled nervously* W-well, at least your story ends well, right Goenji? ...Goenji?

Goenji: (-_-)zzz

Kidou: He's asleep?! * （￣□￣；）*


End file.
